I'm Still Here
by OneConfusedNewsie
Summary: Songfic. Jack thinks he's finally found the one but she wants him to abandon something he's just not ready to give up. Please read and review!


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Disclaimer: You know the drill. Disney owns Newsies, Vertical Horizons owns I'm Still Here, and own nothing. Shucks. 

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I'm Still Here

I found the pieces in my hand   
They were always there   
It just took some time for me to understand   
You gave me words I just can't say   
So if nothing else   
I'll just hold on while you drift away   


I sat nervously fingering my hat as the carriage pulled back into the distribution center. I said a few words of gratitude to the governor and made my way over to Jacobs. I handed Les my hat and talked to Davey, and finally the reason I stayed ran through the crowd towards me. I pressed my lips against hers and the crowd drifting away. It was like we were the only two on earth, and I felt a sense of happiness I couldn't even comprehend before rush over me.

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Cause everything you wanted me to hide   
Is everything that makes me feel alive 

We sat on the roof talking of our future. "Promise me you wont leave," she whispered in my ear, "Promise you won't go to Santa Fe. Promise you'll stay in New York with me." I told her I couldn't promise that; said I couldn't say things I didn't mean. She bit her lip and turned away, "How do I know you'll wont desert me?" 

I smiled, holding her head in my hands. I looked into her eyes, our faces so close our noses touched, "Because I won't desert the one I love, and I love you."_  
  
The cities grow the rivers flow   
Where you are I'll never know   
But I'm still here   
If you were right and I was wrong   
Why are you the one who's gone   
And I'm still here   
_

Jack jumped as Kloppman prodded him awake. It seemed like it was just yesterday he loved her and she loved him in return, or so she said. He slipped unnoticed out the window and up the fire escape. Looking down at the streets from his rooftop view he sighed as he thought of her. He said he wouldn't leave, but she wasn't satisfied, and before he knew it she was out of his life. A few months back Davey said she moved to Boston and was engaged to a banker. 

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I'm still here   


Jack laughed bitterly to himself, she was making him promise he'd stay, and she was the one who left him.

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You've seen the ashes in my heart   
You smile the widest when I cry inside and my insides blow apart   
I try to wear another face   
Just to make you proud   
Just to make you put me in my place 

Jack shook his head in disbelief. Everything he had done for her and she left him. Although he'd never told anyone, not even her, she was the reason he became a scab. He wanted to be good enough for her, wanted to be able to provide for her. He wanted her to come with him to Sante Fe. Betrayal was never his style, but he did it for her, and only her._  
  
But everything you wanted from me   
Is everything that I could never be   
_

But money wasn't what she wanted. She wanted New York, and unless Jack promised that to her, she wouldn't stay with him. Jack sighed to himself, he wasn't meant to live and die here, he was meant to go to New Mexico.

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The cities grow the rivers flow   
Where you are I'll never know   
But I'm still here   
If you were right and I was wrong   
Why are you the one who's gone   
And I'm still here  


He thought of where she might be now. Did she have a perfect little family with a banker of a husband and children with her eyes and his nose? Or was she hustling on the street corner her skirt short and shirt tattered. Wherever she is, she's gone, Jack thought to himself.

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Maybe tonight it's gonna be alright   
I will get better   
Maybe today it's gonna be okay   
I will remember   


Since she left, Jack had trouble finding another girl. Sure he was good looking with a charming smile, but he couldn't find anyone better than her, anyone deemed worthy of the love still held for her. It seemed no one could live up to her; no one could ever take her place in his heart.

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I held the pieces of my soul   
I was shattered   
And I wanted you to come and make me whole   
Then I saw you yesterday   
But you didn't notice   
You just walked away _

Jack found himself near the Jacob's apartment. He shouted another headline and looked up at the fire escape where he had spent countless nights talking to her. A familiar figure walked by and Jack ran after her. "Buy a pape miss?" he asked, hoping to see recognition register in her eyes. But it never came; she simply said no thank you and made her way to her parent's house. Jack could have sworn all of New York heard his heart shatter as she walked away._  
  
Cause everything you wanted me to hide   
Is everything that makes me feel alive   
_

He thought about her day and night and she didn't even think about him, didn't even recognize him. He swore and walked away from the apartments. "Why did I stay here?" he asked angrily, "Why didn't I get on that train?"

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The cities grow the rivers flow   
Where you are I'll never know   
But I'm still here   
If you were right and I was wrong   
Why are you the one who's gone   
And I'm still here  


Jack made his way to his bunk, lying in bed, thinking of her. How he wished he could have a peaceful slumber for once, a night without painful memories. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to sleep. Why did she have to leave me, were his final thoughts before falling into a restless sleep. 

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The lights go out the bridges burn   
Once you go you can't return   
But I'm still here   
Remember how you used to say   
I'd be the one to run away   
But I'm still here   


"Promise me you wont leave," she whispered in my ear, "Promise you won't go to Santa Fe. Promise you'll stay in New York with me." I shook my head. I couldn't promise her that, anything but that. She began to fade away, "You should've promised you'd stay," she said before finally fading away.

A tear slid down Jack's sleeping face, and a voice, although barely audible, could be heard over the ever-present sound of the bunkroom, "But I'm still here, Sarah. I'm still here."

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PLEASE REVIEW!! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! ^_^


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